Can I Look at Faces That I Meet?
There’s a line from a Third Eye Blind song that rattles around in my mind’s foyer:
Can I look at faces that I meet?
In an interview, lead singer Stephan Jenkins said the lyrics referred to his disdain for music industry executives at the time of writing. It’s a powerful introspection. My brain typically adds a subtle emphasis:
Can I even look at faces that I meet?
In recent years I’ve had an increasingly difficult time looking people in the face, much less in the eyes. It’s uncharacteristic of me. Actually, that’s not true. I was freakishly shy as a young boy. But, I generally grew out of it and have not had trouble until recent regressions.
I’m not really sure why it’s become so uncomfortable to maintain a face-forward connection. I struggle with strangers, coworkers, even friends and family. People I have nothing to hide from. Maybe it stems from a lack of confidence, too much time in isolation, or simply, apathy. It could be that I’ve grown too cynical about what I see in others. Perhaps I’m too exhausted to keep up a mask anymore.
There is one exception.
To be continued