Head and Heart
Why can’t they ever agree, the head and the heart? Each won’t let me trust the other.
The head won’t let me fail, but the heart begs to go all in.
My heart is neglected after all. I don’t listen to my impulses when my mind has doubt. I can’t express my feelings without a strategic upside.
But sometimes I do, and my brain hates me for it. Who I am, what I am, is no good. It’s not what I planned. It’s not what I deem successful.
The battle has always been internal. Whatever comes my way will come and go, and I will walk right over it. All the while, I’ll be mumbling and grumbling and arguing with myself. Too much this, too little that.
Ah, well, at least it gives me something to do.
“I understand there's a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.”
Anthony Bourdain