Nobody Cares How Much Money You Make
I always thought my goal in life was to graduate and get a good job. What even is a good job? Since I did not have a specific passion, a good job meant one that paid well.
So I did. I landed a software developer position after college and began increasing my salary in the following years. Despite being financially successful, I found myself more miserable than ever.
As a computer science student, I was constantly reminded of the lucrative opportunities that awaited me after graduation. Professors often mentioned six-figure starting salaries as an incentive for studying the course material. Although CS students graduating nowadays face a very competitive and uncertain job market, at the time (2022) I did not have much difficulty landing a software job. In fact, I almost turned it down because I thought I could earn more.
I was particularly susceptible to the idea that the amount a programmer earns is a signal for their intelligence. I thought better coders performed better on LeetCode-style tasks, which led to higher-paying offers. While that is not entirely untrue, I would now ask myself: are Linus Torvalds' and Guido van Rossums' earnings proportional to their abilities?
But it was always obvious to me that a person's salary is not correlated with how hard they work. I know many teachers, nurses, and veterans who have worked for decades to make as much as some entry-level tech workers. However, what did come as a surprise to me after several years in the workforce was the realization that nobody cared how much money I made.
I am not rich by any means, and it's not as if I was expecting my life to dramatically change just because of a moderate salary. But, I am actually shocked by how little things have changed. In hindsight, it makes a lot of sense.
My friends and family have known me for a long time. Our opinions of each other have nothing to do with the numbers in our bank account, whether they be low or high. We generally do not event talk about how much we make at work because it is still a relatively taboo subject. We are bonded through shared experiences that have nothing to do with money. The holidays are still no different than when I was a kid, except, well, I'm older.
As for meeting new people, whether platonic or romantic, it's usually not obvious how much someone makes just by looking at them. Some people prefer to dress more extravagantly and have more expensive tastes regardless of their income. People care much more about whether I have some shared hobby or interest with them, or if I can make interesting conversation, above all else. The more I get to know someone, it typically means that I get along with them personality-wise, and I have yet to meet anyone shallow enough to care about my income at that point.
I am aware this may all come across as obvious, like how did you not know this? But as a young person who is just trying to find their way, it can be easy to get caught up in comparisons. Sometimes it is nice to have a reminder of what really matters.
I also wanted to write about it because I have been feeling very empty lately. I achieved what was supposed to be one of the main goals of my life without much difficulty. It feels like beating a video game without losing any lives. I am left wondering, that's it? What do I do now? Of course, there are many aspects of my life left to improve and explore, and they have little to do with money.
So, for all those who need to hear it: nobody cares how much money you make. You probably do not even care. Assuming you can make enough to survive, you are much more likely to be impacted by who you surround yourself with and how you live your life.