Where is my Whimsy?
Rarely can I articulate exactly what I’m longing for. But as these things often do, the object of my desire revealed itself to me at around 3am on a mostly sleepless night. It struck me: whimsy. That’s what I am missing most in my life.
For months, I have been confronted by the fact that my days are very boring, bland, mundane. I work, I do chores, I exercise, I sit, and watch, and think. It’s not so bad, but it is a tunnel of drudgery. I have managed to effectively cut out the bass and treble of human experience, so I am left with only a thin middle range.
I resolved to make some changes, as an act of resistance against my routine. In my subconscious, I had been brainstorming some ways to stick my neck out, assume some risk, and seek opportunities to add variety. But it was hard without a specific sense of direction. That was when it hit me.
The periods in my life I’ve been the happiest are when I woke up not knowing what the day would hold. That’s not to say that my schedule was open, or that I lacked responsibility or routine, but rather there was a significant likelihood that something peculiar would materialize in my path. It was often a small tidbit, just something that made me stop and smell the roses.
I cannot define whimsy, but I know it when I see it. It changes from one day to the next. It's unplanned. Once, I was offered a slice of a rare variety of apple that was popular during Abraham Lincoln's lifetime. Another time, I found myself sitting on the floor, watching movies on a TV that rested against its box, sipping Corona with a great friend in an otherwise empty house.
Certain environments are more conducive to inviting whimsy, but I find the biggest catalysts for it are unconventional people. The kind of people that stop on the sidewalk to hopscotch, for example, are more likely to introduce a bit of magic into my day. So, my revelation was twofold: 1) I need to once again surround myself with whimsical people and 2) above all else, I aspire to be someone who creates whimsy in the lives of others.
That may seem abstract, but it helps me contextualize why I find my life to be so unbearably boring at times. It also acts as a north star for me going forwards. I don't realistically expect to become a superstar athlete or an engineering mastermind, but I can rest easy knowing that I will always have some little moments of wonder to look forward to no matter the circumstances.